THE "STUDY" GROUP

Methinks the "Iraq Study Group" is doing some real close "study" on this here Iraq situation. Methinks they're going to study quitting this war a whole lot longer and harder than was ever devoted to getting it started in the first place. Ain't it funny--NOW they're worried about the consequences!

But five'll get you ten, what they're really "studyin'" is: "How can we figure out a way to STAY as long as possible before Iraq and maybe the entire Middle East implodes?" Don't forget--there's still the little problem we went over there for in the first place. No, not to get the weapons of mass destruction--there weren't any--nor to get Saddam, whom we never cared a fig about, and certainly not to miraculously transform the country into a shining Jeffersonian democracy, where all the warring factions suddenly fall swooning into each others' arms and go all ga-ga for each other. No, I'm referring to the actual and true problem--getting "our oil" out from under their sand.

As long as we remain committed to a gasaholic way of life, keeping our heads buried where the sun doesn't shine over the issue of global warming, then methinks we never will leave Iraq. Sure, we may start drawing down some of our troops--that ought to placate our easily placated Democrats for awhile; and Lord knows, we may need to redeploy some of those troops when we start our next war (with Iran). But, rest assured, the bases--those multi-billion dollar mammoth fortress islands in the midst of the country--will stay, to keep a close watch on our interests.

Perhaps, just to keep up appearances, we'll stage a mock election, not unlike the one we staged right here at home in 2004, using the same rigged Diebold machines; and we'll install someone who will turn out to be quite sympathetic with our American corporations, like WalMart, McDonald's and especially Exxon-Mobil. Among the warring tribes, the ones that agree to go along with this program will get along just fine; the ones that don't--well, we'll just kill them off.

In short, everyone will get what they want. The big boys, the oil companies, and their bagmen (the lobbyists), and members of Congress who work for them, will keep right on making regular trips to the bank. And the arms makers and dealers will continue to fill their already engorged coffers with bootle--the blueprints for a whole new line of nukes is already on the table. And the American people will get to have the illusion that the war is "over," even though what's really on the agenda is perpetual war with more make-believe enemies, and with the ever-increasing number of real ones we've generated from the present war. Hell, perhaps even the Christian evangelicals will be happy again.

Well, nobody loves delusions and make-believe better than Americans.